If Sex Between 3 People Is Called
And Between 2 People Is Called
Then You Can Understand Why
All Men Are Called Handsome.
If you think life is bad… How would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once.You only get eaten once. It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys. But worst of all… The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.So cheer up…Your life ain’t that bad!Pass it around to someone who you feel can use a good lay today.
Man goes to the RED LIGHT area.
Madame inquire:’ r u married ?’
He replied :’What difference does it make ?’
She said:’We are here to serve the needy & not the greedy ! ‘
Man To Priest: “Forgive Me Father For I Have Sinned I Usually Read Dirty Jokes And View Pictures Of Girls On My Mobile”
Priest: “Forward Your Sins To Me!“
Mechanical Engineer’s wife Delivered a baby..
Wife Sends SMS to Husband :
‘Your New Vehicle is Launched.’
Husband SMS’s back :
‘With Gear or Without Gear?’ ??????????
One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor, to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said, “my god you look so depressed.” She said, “You bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me…six dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I’m going to have to spend this whole weekend on my back with my legs spread.” “Now that’s really silly, why don’t you use a vase?”
One day a boy was late for school so the teacher asked “Why were you late?” The boy said, “I was on top of cherry hill.” Another boy walks in so the teacher asks, “Why were you late?” So the boy said, “I was on top of cherry hill.” A new girl walks in to the room and the teacher says, “Were you on top of cherry hill, too?”The girl said, “No I am Cherry Hill.”
How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. ONE! And do you know why it only takes one? Because no one else in this house knows how to change a light bulb. They don’t even know the bulb is burnt out. They would sit in this house in the dark for three days before they figured it out. And once they figured it out they wouldn’t be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the same cupboard for the past seventeen years. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, two days later the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID LIGHT BULB WOULD STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID FUCKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS FUCKING HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE! IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS! I’m sorry, um, what did you ask me?
Husband & Wife Go For Shopping.
Wife: “You Have Nothing In Your Head But Why Are You Buying Helmet?”
Husband: “Yesterday You Purchased Bra, Did I Askd You Anything?“
Husband is praying before going to bed
Wife- What r u praying for?
Husband- For guidance..
Wife- Pray for hardness.Leave Guidance to me!